Life with Amy and Mark

Mark and I have difficulty playing games against each other and truly enjoying them because we have this odd combination of being really competitive and also not wanting to see the other person lose.  Inevitably and regardless of the game, one of us is doing well but feels bad the other one is losing so we go easy on them.  Then the other person wins because we were going easy on them (we both do this).  This leaves neither one of us feeling satisfied.  So Mark bought us this new game called Pandemic.  What makes this game different is that it is a cooperative game where you’re not playing against each other but rather the clock/game board.  We got it yesterday and have already played it about 6 times including 3 times with friends last night.  We only won the first time and have now decided that it was sheer good luck.  The game is definitely challenging.  And also a ton of fun.  Even though we’ve continued losing, it’s almost addicting because we keep trying to play and figure out how to win.  I never thought that a game where you’re not playing against each other but rather everyone wins and loses together would really work and be fun, but I have officially been proven completely wrong.

I recently bought a full length mirror for my office – I figured, why can’t lunch hour, be make out hour?

I do not recommend this webcomic for general reading.

Just finished submitting my application to work at the CDC as a Statistician (Health)! Here’s to hoping something good comes of this!

We had the sister missionaries over last week for dinner and one of them commented on how scary it is to bring an investigator to a fast and testimony meeting. Let’s be honest, ok? There’s some crazy stuff said over the pulpit. In most churches an ‘open mike night at church’ (as it was put by a member of our bishopric) isn’t a big deal because there’s a pastor who does all the preaching, so there’s a known source of ‘truth’ and anybody else talking is voicing their own opinions. However, in our church since members of the congregation deliver the ’sermons’ it’s easy to confuse fast and testimony meeting with regular church in that it’s members of the congregations speaking from behind the pulpit. When wrong things are said it could easily be perceived as being canonical. Of course, the other big risk is that correct things are said but they’re said from the context of a strong member which could be misunderstood. Like last Sunday when the counselor conducting talked about not knowing if his beliefs were the same as other people’s in church or if the truth he knows is the same as the truth that other people know/have. He was referring to an individuals ability to process the eternal truths that are the gospel and comprehend them at the same level, but they way he said it made it sound like he was preaching a free canon defined and described on an individual basis. And then there was the member talking about tarot card readings in the testimony about the rock song they heard over the week. We were pretty sure that the sister missionary was freaking out not knowing what to do for their student investigator they had there (we picked him up – woot for tooting our own horn!). Fast and testimony meeting can be a fantastic experience, but it’s especially easy to get sidetracked in that meeting and the ‘regular’ members don’t really notice but it can be very distracting for investigators.

One of my favorite books of all time is The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it – the ending makes me cry every time because it’s a poignant moment of sadness in great happiness. Anyway, one of the main characters is a professor who considers himself to be a ‘Rational Anarchist’ – he has a conversation with another main character Wyoh about his feelings. He asserts that, “A rational anarchist believes that concepts such as ‘state’ and ‘society’ and ‘government’ have no existence save as physically exemplified in the acts of self-responsible individuals.” In other words, all choices are made by individuals and no individual can shift or share responsibility for his own choices.  Wyoh retorts, “Professor, your words sound good but there is something slippery about them. Too much power in the hands of individuals—surely you would not want… well, H-missiles (i.e. hydrogen bombs) for example—to be controlled by one irresponsible person?” Prof answers by saying that individuals in fact do hold the power to use nuclear weapons, and such an individual is ultimately responsible for their use, whether he chooses to acknowledge and accept that responsibility or not. “In terms of morals there is no such thing as a ‘state.’ Just men. Individuals. Each responsible for his own acts,” he says. “I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free, because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything that I do.” [the bulk of this came straight from Wikipedia - just making sure I'm not plagiarizing] Isn’t that the same as the gospel? People often ask how terrible things like the Holocaust can happen if God exists and loves us. Well, each of us has free agency, or as it is described above as freedom. We have the power to kill, to steal, to be oppressive and disobey the commandments – in that regard we are free. But we are not free without consequences – everything that we do, we are responsible for that. No matter what system we try to create to divert blame from ourselves, we as individuals are solely responsible for our actions.

Of course, on a non-spiritual note our ‘democracy’ in America (which isn’t a democracy by the way – it’s a republic which is really different) places the vast majority of power into the hands of a single man and he’s currently in process of trying to gobble up more of it for himself in the name of healthcare. He’s already essentially got all the power he needs to fire nuclear missiles, do we want him to have the power to decide who gets healthcare and how much of it we get?

I’m taking an epidemiology course right now in which we have discussed disease prevention. I’m not sure if most biologists are just not with the English language or if it’s biology students, but our professor too great pains to explain that you can “prevent” a disease at various stages of the progression of the disease, that is, “prevention” doesn’t just occur before infection. At first I was confused – prevent is a very simple word – something can’t happen and then you prevent it. Then the explanation came – primary prevention is to prevent infection, secondary prevention is to treat the disease quickly (prevent it from spreading or prevent needless suffering for the patient) and tertiary prevention is to alleviate the disability inflicted by an advanced disease or disability – that is, prevent total loss of function. So, it’s not like you’re preventing the disease in the typical sense, but you’re preventing additional harm from happening.

On Thursday (this is where all of that was going) last week I had my gallbladder removed. I only passed one gallstone (a week and a half prior to the surgery) and it was awful – most pain I can remember having been in. While in the emergency room they ordered a CT Scan to get a look at my gallbladder (I’m nervous about how much this is going to cost still – I wish they would just hurry up with the bill). The surgeon a few days later told me that the scan had revealed a gallstone 1.5cm in diameter. That’s big. It’s so big the surgeon recommended immediate removal of my gallbladder because a stone that big can’t be passed. Instead of just lots of pain, I’d have lots of pain with a gallbladder that can’t release bile like it should – and just like a drain that’s clogged with hair, that bile would just build up causing the gallbladder to become infected and possible rupture (which is as bad then as appendicitis). Secondary prevention.

Before we met with the surgeon we weren’t convinced that removal was the best course of action. Seemed like a no/low fat diet would prevent another attack and life could continue on, flavorless, but with all my organs. After the surgeons prognosis we called Grandpa White and he confirmed that it wasn’t a question of if I’d have another attack but when I’d have another attack.

The surgery went well – it was done laparoscopically to reduce the cost, danger and discomfort I would experience.  The stones were huge, the medium sized one is as big as a black olive – so the cuts into my chiseled abs were bigger than usual.  The morphine didn’t do anything other than make my hand burn (which as a bummer, I was looking forward to morphine – heard great things about it) and all they gave me to eat was liquids, but the nurses were very sweet and kind.  My wife was sweeter and kinder – she was with me almost the whole time.  I had to kick her out to go eat dinner and sleep at home (no way I was asking my pregnant wife to sleep on a foldout chair), and I know she was bored to tears sitting in that room with her groaning husband, but she was super sweet and supportive.

Since I got home on Friday (they kept me overnight for observation) my side had been hurting constantly – especially when getting in and out of bed (really have to use my ab muscles then), but our home teachers came over on Friday night and gave me a blessing for the pain (they also came by on Wednesday before the surgery to give me a blessing) and one of Amy’s visiting teachers made us dinner on Friday and Saturday night which was a real blessing (since Amy had a spot of congestion that started Wednesday night).  I’ve been back to classes now – but not back to teaching yet.  I had to cancel my class yesterday because walking to epidemiology took a lot out of me.

I wanted to thank everybody publicly for your kind thoughts, prayers, words, emails and actions in helping me do this surgery and recover from it.

When Mark opened our door yesterday, he said, “We may have trouble leaving our apartment.”  Because of the amount of snow coupled with the high winds yesterday, we had pretty impressive snow drifts for Bowling Green including the 2 foot snow drift leaning against our front door.  The main issue with the snow drift was the fact we don’t have a snow shovel.  So Mark sacrificed his comfort and made a path to the car using his legs and pathetically worn out shoes.  The upshot of all of this is that Mark had such cold and wet feet while we were doing grocery shopping that he was convinced of the need to actually go out and buy new shoes that have needed replacing for way too long.  You can’t really see it in the pictures, but the soles of his shoes were so worn out that they were actually gone in some places.  Fortunately for us, the shoe store we went to was having a really nice sale.  We found a pair of shoes that looked perfect for Mark and was more than half off (only $23!).  He now looks snazzy in his new and much more comfortable shoes.  Thank you snow drifts!

Yeah, so I have gallstones. Most pain I’ve ever experienced. They hurt. Really. Anyway…just letting you know. It’s 1:30am, I’m going to bed.

Yes, that new picture up there, it’s real.  Amy was in the hospital yesterday.  She blacked out at work and then threw up – she then proceeded to chat with me letting me know that it had happened and could I please get a ride up to Toledo to pick her up and take loving care of her.  I called the Shadle’s to get a ride up (they went with us to the hockey game in the arena connected to Amy’s school so I figured they might know how to get there) and Nikki agreed to pick me up.  Longer story shorter – we wheeled Amy on an office chair out of the school and down to the car (she was thoroughly embarrassed by being pushed in a chair but a school administrator was very firm with her about how necessary it was).  We then drove to the Wood County Hospital where the ER put her on an IV drip till she had 2.4 liters of fluid in her (plus two boxes of orange juice and a popsicle).

The important thing is that she’s fine and the baby is fine (I finally heard the baby’s heartbeat – sounds like a spaceship engine from Star Trek or something – coolest sound ever).  She’s home and sleeping (at least she better be!) and feeling better today.  Just wanted to let everybody know what happened, and that she’s ok now.